From time to time, in Food For Thought, we like to point out some of the funny - meaning strange - inconsistencies of English spelling and pronunciation. Those oddities can help us all appreciate just how difficult it can be for young or learning-different students to learn to read. They also help demonstrate why we use memory aids (mnemonics) to teach phonics. However, in this issue of Food For Thought, instead of giving examples of how English can be strange, we thought we would share some examples of how it can be funny - meaning humorous. We recently ran across a clipping from a newspaper that someone sent us years ago. These are actual excuse notes from parents collected by Nisheeth Parekh of the University of Texas in Galveston. Notice how a few small changes in word selection and spelling can affect meaning.

• My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.


• Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She is sick and I had her shot.


• Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.


• Please excuse Ray from school. He has very loose vowels. [Phonics can be rough! - Ed.]


• Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.


• Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.